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Thursday, September 2nd 2010, 5:47pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Howdy, I am #388 in W1

Well, at least on the victories list. I am also moving up rapidly on that list. And since I have no defeats, I technically have the highest V/D in W1*. However, to verify the Pros you listed above, you can set me as your sitter at any time. *Rollo the Viking and Ana Maxkw both have higher listed V/D because the computer cannot calculate V/D when D is 0.

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:58pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

entry

You start your plunder just in time before reset...max gold!

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:54pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's eleventh entry

You are the lone survivor of a bar room brawl in the tavern. You simply plunder the bodies on your way out the door for maximum gold.

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:53pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's tenth entry

You invent the bar room brawl function in the next HW upgrade. The bar room brawl becomes the most popular multiplayer random event in the game. GAS rewards you for your innovation with a max gold plunder for the life of your account.

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:46pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's ninth entry

You are tired of your helmet visor falling down over your eyes. A little resin and some lodestone and your visor magnetically latches in the up position. The innovation becomes the fashion rage among knights and you plunder their expendable gold.

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:40pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's eigth entry

You find a burning, talking bush in the desert! You dig it up and sell it for maximum gold!

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:25pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's seventh entry

You find a way to go undefeated for your first month in Holy War. You have over a thousand wins and the best V/D in your world. You write of your exploits in a forum contest and win maximum gold!

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:22pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's sixth entry

God asks you to be a judge for a tech contest between the devil and Jesus. They do spreadsheets, word documents, pictures and database exercises until suddenly the power goes out. The devil is mad, but Jesus is calm because Jesus Saves. Max gold!

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:15pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's fifth entry

You get caught flirting with the farmer's daughter. In a desperate attempt to hide you climb down a dry well. Meanwhile, a raid happens on the town and all the people drop their valuables down the well. Riches rain down!

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 11:07pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's next entry

You find work as a sapper. While digging under an enemy fortification you find a cache of gold. Later that night you plunder the enemies gold for a fortune!

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 10:56pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Patchii's third attempt

You meet an old man from the East. You are kind to him and in exchange for your kindness, he gives you the formula for gunpowder.

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 9:59pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's second attempt

You enter the twelve apostles golf tournament. Despite your clumsiness in battle, you are a scratch golfer and easily win the match for a lot of gold.

Sunday, August 29th 2010, 9:55pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's first attempt

The Romans have planned a highway to the holy land through your donkey pasture. You sell for a fortune!

Saturday, August 21st 2010, 1:39pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's second entry

You get hired as a bible/koran/kama sutra translator. You write in your best Scottish ebonic text, but still manage to anger your customers and get burned at the stake.

Saturday, August 21st 2010, 1:34pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's first entry

You place an ad in the HW classifieds: "Wanted female player to share long plunders along deserted beaches." You learn that deserted beaches are not good plunders and men impersonating women is common.

Sunday, August 15th 2010, 11:35pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's second entry for High XP

Your best friend wants you to take his sister on a date. She has Tourette's syndrome. You fear embarrassment but hatch a plan to take her to a joust. The crowd loves her colorful language and you get great XP while she yells Pachii at the opposing knights!

Sunday, August 15th 2010, 11:14pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Pachii's first high XP entry

You spot a column of level 1000 players moving through a tight canyon astride war mastodons. Any could crush you, but you have a plan. Release the mice! The mastodons stampede and crush their mounts! Genius earns good XP.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 11:36pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Janet

I was indeed making a point about the stupidity of making the loss of gold a crime. I was not poking you for the tixxing. In fact, I really never complain about tixxing. I understand that is how thew game is funded.* *

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 6:52pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

On your way home from a good plunder, you stop at the tavern. A girl is on stage and she mesmerizes you with moves you have not seen since the 1000 years war. Louise keeps you watching intently for hours. When you get home you find you have a lot less cash than expected.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:32pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

As you walk through the HW tavern, you see many immortal legends of the game. Grog and the reindeer, falcotron, PsionicMage, erialc, Aithne, Snatcher, TMR and others talking good times. You quickly pinch Dasha’s purse for a small haul.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:32pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

You awake to a vision of three Mods of Holy War greatness. Dradaki, AbS and Profundus appearing in a ghostly mist. They point towards a grave stone in the cemetery. The headstone is marked AZ. You find a coin purse with some gold there.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:31pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

As you wander through the city streets on a moonless night, a chill goes up your spine as you spot a shadowy figure in a cape. It is Harbinger time. You quickly pickup a Google spreadsheet and plunder Black Wind’s pre-strike list.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:31pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

You set a paper bag of poo on erialc’s doorstep and set it on fire. You knock on the residence door, and then run to the back entrance. While she is putting out the fire and then cleaning her boots, you make off with a little gold.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:30pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

You run into your Noobian friend Pachii on a bad plunder trip. You challenge Pachii to improve his foul mouth using a cuss jar where he pays a piece of eight for each banned word. You get some gold and accounting experience.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:29pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

A monastery is the perfect haul. But on your way home you see a maiden getting married. She is so beautiful that you want to make her wedding day the best ever. You present Esther with nearly all of your haul and you head home with a joyful heart.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:29pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

A strange light surrounds you and your horse and you are transported to the 21st century. You feel out of place until you see the Capital One Vikings in a commercial. But when you return to HW, your 21st century money is traded for a little gold.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:29pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

You raid a Scottish town in hopes of huge haul. You get away with only a few bagpipes in a tough battle. You finally are able to sell the bagpipes to an artisan that makes women’s purses. You would have gotten more if you had taken the kilts.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:27pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

You plunder a tomb whilst traveling to the next Holy Battle in North Africa. The curse written in hieroglyphics does not frighten you at all, but when you spot the snakes you run in fear plundering just a little gold.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:26pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

You find a chest loaded with gold.When you heave the heavy load onto your horse you start the rodeo of your life.Your horse bucks his way down the road losing gold all along the way.Sadly, you can only collect a little gold.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:25pm

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text Contest (week 1) - 2.8.2010 - 8.8.2010

You befriend a Noobian while beginning a daily plunder. Pachii is likable but a foul mouthed fellow who offers to introduce you to his friends in a Noobian village. You begin the easiest plunder of your career. Not much gold or XP, but alot of fun.

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 6:16am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Tenth Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder You awake to a vision of three Mods of Holy War greatness. Dradaki, AbS and Profundus appearing in a ghostly mist. They point towards a grave stone in the cemetery. The headstone is marked AZ. You find a coin purse with some gold there. Word Count: 44 Character Count without spaces: 193 Character count with spaces: 239

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 5:36am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Ninth Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder As you wander through the city streets on a moonless night, a chill goes up your spine as you spot a shadowy figure in a cape. It is Harbinger time. You quickly pickup a Google spreadsheet and plunder Black Wind’s pre-strike list. Word Count: 42 Character Count without spaces: 189 Character count with spaces: 232

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 5:24am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

8th Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder You set a paper bag of poo on erialc’s doorstep and set it on fire. You knock on the residence door, and then run to the back entrance. While she is putting out the fire and then cleaning her boots, you make off with a little gold. Word Count: 47 Character Count without spaces: 185 Character count with spaces: 233

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 3:50am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Seventh Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder You run into your Noobian friend Pachii on a bad plunder trip. You challenge Pachii to improve his foul mouth using a cuss jar where he pays a piece of eight for each banned word. You get some gold and accounting experience. Word Count: 43 Character Count without spaces: 183 Character count with spaces: 226

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:50am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Sixth Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder A monastery is the perfect haul. But on your way home you see a maiden getting married. She is so beautiful that you want to make her wedding day the best ever. You present Esther with nearly all of your haul and you head home with a joyful heart. Word Count: 49 Character Count without spaces: 199 Character count with spaces: 250

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:29am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Fifth Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder. A strange light surrounds you and your horse and you are transported to the 21st century. You feel out of place until you see the Capital One Vikings in a commercial. But when you return to HW, your 21st century money is traded for a little gold. Word Count: 47 Character Count without spaces: 200 Character count with spaces: 248

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 2:09am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Fourth Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder You raid a Scottish town in hopes of huge haul. You get away with only a few bagpipes in a tough battle. You finally are able to sell the bagpipes to an artisan that makes women’s purses. You would have gotten more if you had taken the kilts. Word Count: 48 Character Count without spaces: 194 Character count with spaces: 241

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 1:45am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Third Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder You plunder a tomb whilst traveling to the next Holy Battle in North Africa. The curse written in hieroglyphics does not frighten you at all, but when you spot the snakes you run in fear collecting just a little gold. Word Count: 40 Character Count without spaces: 178 Character count with spaces: 219

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 1:13am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

Second Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder text for recommended 2XP plunder You find a chest loaded with gold. When you heave the heavy load onto your horse you start the rodeo of your life. Your horse bucks his way down the road losing gold all along the way. Sadly, you can only collect a little gold. Word Count: 45 Character Count without spaces: 183 Character count with spaces: 230

Monday, August 2nd 2010, 12:36am

Author: Pachii The Noobian

1st Entry for Pachii The Noobian

Plunder Text for recommended 2XP plunder. You befriend a Noobian while beginning a daily plunder. Pachii is likable but a foul mouthed fellow who offers to introduce you to his friends in a Noobian village. You begin the easiest plunder of your career. Not much gold or XP, but alot of fun. Word Count: 46 Character Count without spaces: 203 Character count with spaces: 250